Month: December 2010

I was in a heated game of “Let’s Dance 2” on the Wii, getting trounced by my six year old niece when I realized that the lyrics of Ke$ha’s “Tik Tok” (isn’t it cute how Ke$ha spells words incorrectly?  Tee hee, God she sucks) may not be entirely appropriate for kids (most children shouldn’t brush their teeth with a bottle of Jack).  As I made this known to the cialis tablets family I realized I had a bottle of Christmas Ale in my left hand the entire time.  I am officially a drunk uncle now.  I felt compelled to tell inappropriate stories of barfights at the dinner table or offend someone’s new date with a vile joke or limerick.

1. “You working hard or ya hardly working?”  Hardly working b/c I’m talking to an uninteresting zero.  2.  “This weather is the worst I’ve seen in a while.”  Really?  It’s winter.  Amazingly, it tends to repeat itself.  It always sucks.  3.  “Where is this relationship going?”  Nowhere if you keep this up…  4.  “Have you seen this (TV show, movie, etc.)?”  No.  “Well let me tell you all about it…”  That’s great, I don’t have any reference point.  If it is interesting, you just ruined it.  If it sucks, I am now going to put this gun in my mouth and play can I hold out until you’re done.  5.  “You’re the get cialis online father of my baby.”  Blah, blah, blah…

I got my first chance to feature at the Funny Bone in Huntington, West Virginia.   Dec. 26.  I have done shows at strip clubs, punk rock bars, VFW halls, and God knows what else.  Comedy is a rough biz.  I have had beer pitchers thrown at me, people walk out, the show cancel with no call after I drove an hour.  This is my chance.  Kiss my ass, Sea Bass – I’m going to rock the hell out of WV.  Sometimes these posts are for buy cheap cialis online me, this is one…  Hell yeah.

I did a “benny” which is a benefit show where you get nothing but some kind of moral reprieve for so called good works.  It was for Toys for Tots.  Outside the show a military man who just got out of basic started a conversation with me.  He is being deployed to Afghanistan in the spring, but he asked why I was at the show.  I told him I was a comic.  He then said, “Comedians do a great service to our country.”  He was serious.  I love the military, but I know a lot of comics/drunks/drug addicts/degenerates/unemployed/neurotics and the last thing I would tout is a comedian’s intrinsic value to the fabric of American society.  Heads up, people.  No one gets into comedy for service, we get into it b/c we are psychos who have a craving for attention/laughter for a variety of poor reasons.  Thanks for the compliment, but you boys are the heroes.  I found a way to paid on occasion to drink cialis overnight shipping beer.  You win.

I’ve had about enough of Hollywood and their degenerate movies.  Coming out soon is the movie “Black Swan”, a thriller that features a torrid love scene between Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman.  Two women.  What kind of morally decrepit freak could endure such unnatural passion between a dark-eyed, raven haired, full lipped young actress and another actress with perfect skin, dangerously cialis tablets 5mg young looking innocence and with an equally flawless body.  Two confused yet curious females, exploring the dangers of forbidden fruit…I for one, put my foot down!  And my $9 for another ticket.  But only for research purposes!