I went to Georgia for a comedy show last weekend. In case you’re wondering, it’s about eleven hours. Yes, I am quite moronic at times. Of course, I forgot at the time I took the gig that Labor Day means gas prices jump through the roof, so that was a lovely bonus to my travel costs. Hope I sell a lot of shirts or this is going nowhere! My Dad wanted to go, so we grabbed some cigars and took off Friday night, seeing how far we could get before wrecking or passing out.
We made decent time and I realized I could actually relax before the show with a nice early check-in. I realized my old man is a great driver, unless someone is in the left lane going slower than 75 mph. Then he turns into Dale Earnhardt and practically bump drafts, alternating between tapping the brakes and smashing the accelerator. Needless to say, no sleeping in the car for this guy!
We did stop at J.R.’s, a huge cigar shop. I also saw this – the coolest wine bottle holder ever made.
Then I realized it was a trick! No real American man drinks wine! Where’s the double deuce holder? Nice try, you commie bastards.
Ironically, I told my dad on the way that my only pet peeve was when the hotel reservations were messed up. Not to worry, though, I called the room and left a message telling them if nothing changed off the itinerary, we were good to go. I walked into the hotel and told them my name. The mousy chick behind the desk clickety-clacked away with her face twisting harder and harder into confusion and negativity. I saw it coming. “I’m sorry, sir, we have no room for you.” I immediately slammed my fist into the counter and let out a string of curse words. I love comedy. Don’t worry, it gets worse…