Year: 2010

I went to the grocery this weekend and spent $110.  cialis tablets for sale $35 on bourbon, $17 on a 30 pack, and $12 on a cohiba cigar.  That means I spent $64 on booze and tobacco and $46 on food.  I have to quit eating, this food shit is getting ridiculous.

Every comedian starts at open mics and every comedian needs open mics to stay on top on his/her game, try new material, and meet other comics and bookers.  They are unpaid, start late, run later, there’s 29 comics in the show and at best some drunk fat dude says, “You’re kinda funny.  You know my friends say I’m funny…(15 minutes later) so I going to run this by you (another 10 minutes)…what do you think?”  That being said when you kick ass in a room full of drunk people annoyed that you’re interrupting their sporting event or pool game or inane conversation – it feels pretty fantastic.  Take that, generic brand for cialis open mic!  Now I go home sleep deprived so I can feel like dirt tomorrow.

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I played in a flag football tourney yesterday.  We won the first game w/ no injuries by beating a church team w/ two guys in their 40’s.  We then looked over to the next field and realized we had to play a team of all 17 and 18 year old high school athletes.  The command decision was instantly made to quit the tournament undefeated and go cialis dosage options to the bar at noon, avoiding the same of being destroyed by the shirtless high schoolers, who looked like they were filming an Axe body spray commercial.  Remember kids, it’s easier to change the rules to make yourself look good than to bother with awful truth that you no longer can compete.  White Lightning: 2010 undefeated season!  Team disbanded, but not forgotten.

I have been lobbying the USO for a chance to perform in front of our true heroes, the men and women of the US military.  We know medicament cialis the tales of the cast of the Hills, but not one name of patriots that have given the last full measure of freedom.  Embarrassing: I include myself.  My Dad was a forward observer for the 101st Airborne in Vietnam and they had a 90% casualty rate.  My best accomplishment was making it home from the bar at 3 am.  Thomas Jefferson said “The only death a democracy can die is by its own hand.”  Thank a Vet next time you think your life stinks.  Bob Hope rocks – what a true American.

I saw some hippies holding signs outside a BP station that said “BP = Killers of the Sea”.  I wanted to hold a sign next to them that said “BP lost a lot of oil and needs the money, please buy gas often”.  The sad thing is that a few birds covered in crude oil drives people to picket, but the 13 dead oil riggers?  Nothing.  Why can’t BP come to my condo complex and lose some oil on those stupid geese so they quit crapping on my sidewalk where I get my mail?  Geese are the worst. cialis drug impotence