Year: 2010

I redid some old “classics” tonight at an open mike b/c I have writer’s block and leaned on the past.  I realized that after a year, 5 of my top 10 jokes were absolute and complete dog shit.  Five, however, are pretty good.  My favorite player growing up was cialis rebate Andy Van Slyke.  He never batted .500.  Take that, childhood hero!  Now if only more clubs had that standard, I’d be famous.  Apparently, these snobs want a “complete” set where “most” people “enjoy” the “show”.  Stupid comedy.  I’ll get you yet, you old dog.  By the way, if I ever use quotes this much again, kick me in the groin.

Just won the “Funniest Person in Cincinnati, Semi-Pro” cialis offer at Go Bananas – I’ll be working a full week there as a feature.  Details soon for the show.  Columbus, Cincinnati…next up is the Circleville Pumpkin Festival!  I’m coming for you, Circleville!

Tonight at the Funny Bone I was asked to MC a show w/ 8 brand new comics (of 13).  I felt like when they handed me the lineup I was the undertaker from the Godfather.  “I need you to use all your powers to put my son back together…I don’t want his mother to see him like this.”  Show wasn’t awful b/c the newbs brought a healthy crowd, though.  Memorable moments:  A newb did a Robin Leach where can i get cialis impression.  Yes.  In 2010.  I said, “The next comic will do an impression of a comedian!”  I’m an ass.  The worst one?  Bombed for the entire show.  I said “That’s why you only paid $5.  I looked at this guy and thought, “Don’t do drugs.”  Then I looked again and said, “Don’t let pregnant women do drugs.”  I’m a dick, but you know what?  I love America.  Talk shit now.

This week – 1. The Lockerbie bomber (who blew up 270 people) was freed due to pressure from BP to get oil rights and the American gov’t was in line.  2. Arlington National Cemetery (which I’ve been to and was moved buy cialis no prescription – which is rare for me) has an epidemic of mislabeled graves.  This is waiting to boil, any day.  Just wait.  3. After receiving a billion in US aid, the Pakistani gov’t may have sold American soldiers out to the Taliban (see wikileaks).  Anyone still want more gov’t control?  Also, your taxes are going up Jan. 1!  Term limits, anyone?  Oh by the way, Congress spent $600,000 in bottled water last year – that’s your money.  Do you get free water at work?  If you don’t care, please don’t vote.  Ever.  Sometimes, folks, I’m not funny.  If you can joke about this, you’re better than me.

Having a lil’ problem – two shows to add Aug. 4th at Go Bananas in Cincy at 8, Aug. 14th in WV – message me for details…  I did a benefit show tonight, not bad all things considered.  Inherently, benefit shows stink.  No pay and the crowd is either all family and friends or you have some horrible situation.  Example: I did a 60th anniversary at a golf course and one of the sons got up and said this – “We’re going to have a great time tonight.  I just wish our sister was here.  She fought that damned cancer so hard.  (Sobbing for 2 minutes).  Let’s get the show started – Anthony O’Connell everyone.”  Deathly quiet.  Me and Bob Cook just looked at the floor and prayed silently that Anthony got one laugh.  What could be a worse intro?  Well, everyone, before I bring your first comic up…let me shake this baby!  Take that, infant!  what is cialis professional OK, with that out of the way, Chris Coen!”

For my vacation I went to Jamboree in the Hills, a four day country concert.  For three and half days, I slept in a tent, stood in the sun (85 plus all weekend), and drank beer all the while retelling stories of years past when we did the exact same thing.  I am now exhausted, bearded, and sunburnt.  I am pretty sure I lost a least a month off my life.  It was worth it, however, just to see a man get removed for peeing in front of 50,000 other people cialis generica at 6 pm and to hear another hillbilly blame this unruliness on Obama.  Apparently, public urination is up 780% since Jan. 2009.