Tonight at the Funny Bone I was asked to MC a show w/ 8 brand new comics (of 13). I felt like when they handed me the lineup I was the undertaker from the Godfather. “I need you to use all your powers to put my son back together…I don’t want his mother to see him like this.” Show wasn’t awful b/c the newbs brought a healthy crowd, though. Memorable moments: A newb did a Robin Leach where can i get cialis impression. Yes. In 2010. I said, “The next comic will do an impression of a comedian!” I’m an ass. The worst one? Bombed for the entire show. I said “That’s why you only paid $5. I looked at this guy and thought, “Don’t do drugs.” Then I looked again and said, “Don’t let pregnant women do drugs.” I’m a dick, but you know what? I love America. Talk shit now.
Reprehensible
This week – 1. The Lockerbie bomber (who blew up 270 people) was freed due to pressure from BP to get oil rights and the American gov’t was in line. 2. Arlington National Cemetery (which I’ve been to and was moved buy cialis no prescription – which is rare for me) has an epidemic of mislabeled graves. This is waiting to boil, any day. Just wait. 3. After receiving a billion in US aid, the Pakistani gov’t may have sold American soldiers out to the Taliban (see wikileaks). Anyone still want more gov’t control? Also, your taxes are going up Jan. 1! Term limits, anyone? Oh by the way, Congress spent $600,000 in bottled water last year – that’s your money. Do you get free water at work? If you don’t care, please don’t vote. Ever. Sometimes, folks, I’m not funny. If you can joke about this, you’re better than me.
Shows
Having a lil’ problem – two shows to add Aug. 4th at Go Bananas in Cincy at 8, Aug. 14th in WV – message me for details… I did a benefit show tonight, not bad all things considered. Inherently, benefit shows stink. No pay and the crowd is either all family and friends or you have some horrible situation. Example: I did a 60th anniversary at a golf course and one of the sons got up and said this – “We’re going to have a great time tonight. I just wish our sister was here. She fought that damned cancer so hard. (Sobbing for 2 minutes). Let’s get the show started – Anthony O’Connell everyone.” Deathly quiet. Me and Bob Cook just looked at the floor and prayed silently that Anthony got one laugh. What could be a worse intro? Well, everyone, before I bring your first comic up…let me shake this baby! Take that, infant! what is cialis professional OK, with that out of the way, Chris Coen!”
Vacation?
For my vacation I went to Jamboree in the Hills, a four day country concert. For three and half days, I slept in a tent, stood in the sun (85 plus all weekend), and drank beer all the while retelling stories of years past when we did the exact same thing. I am now exhausted, bearded, and sunburnt. I am pretty sure I lost a least a month off my life. It was worth it, however, just to see a man get removed for peeing in front of 50,000 other people cialis generica at 6 pm and to hear another hillbilly blame this unruliness on Obama. Apparently, public urination is up 780% since Jan. 2009.
Updates from me
I am moving on to the finals of the Semi-Pro division of the “Funniest Person in Cincinnati” at Go Bananas – final Aug. 4th. Please God go there if you can. I lost a competition for $1000 to a guy who has been doing comedy for 4 months b/c he emptied out a trailer park to get the crowd vote (no judges of course). I can’t take it twice. I’ll murder a pelican if you don’t. Also, check this out. I co-wrote it and so of course it’s fantastic. cialis natural http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k2H9_3JMulg
Sports
This is from MySpace, recently occurring –
Random douche – hey seen ur pic of the steeler standing over the bengal and it says “who dey” “we dey” and thought it was gay as hell. Doesnt even make sense. the whole saying cialis 20 mg tablets is “who dey think gon beat them bengals, nobody” so “we dey” doesnt even answer the question correctly. oh and steelers suck! we killed steelers last season….twice lmao swept the division. steelers cant hang with the bengals! WHO DEY!!!
Chris Coen – You’re right, I’m sorry. The Steelers have no tradition of beating the Bengals, what with their multiple championships, like the Browns, the Sacramento Kings, the LA Clippers, and the Washington Nationals. Sorry for liking a team from a city my Dad was born in, what a piece of crap I am. I apologize for my team winning more Super Bowls than any other team. I suck. You rock. Why do I even watch sports? You’re the best. BTW, I am gay as shit. And by gay I mean fuck you, get a hobby.