Month: May 2010

I saw some hippies holding signs outside a BP station that said “BP = Killers of the Sea”.  I wanted to hold a sign next to them that said “BP lost a lot of oil and needs the money, please buy gas often”.  The sad thing is that a few birds covered in crude oil drives people to picket, but the 13 dead oil riggers?  Nothing.  Why can’t BP come to my condo complex and lose some oil on those stupid geese so they quit crapping on my sidewalk where I get my mail?  Geese are the worst. cialis drug impotence

I will be on the weekly wrap show on radioawesome.com – good free indie music and hilarity.  Available for download on iTunes linked right to the website.  Check it out.

Also, date has changed for the show buy tadalafil cialis at Go Bananas – now June 2, not June 9.

I went to the gas station to get beer and a dude came in with his woman.  She said, “I forget what pump cialis soft tabs online we’re at.”  He was frustrated and walked out with me.   Another guy getting into his car said, “Women.  Can’t live with ’em.  Can’t chop ’em up into little pieces.”   The other gentleman said, “I hear that.”  What the hell is going on with our world?  What an ass.  Of course you can chop ’em up into little pieces.  Lazy SOB.  LOL!!

I watched a lot of Hoarders and the other version on the other channel.  Nothing says needy like someone who hangs on to useless crap like a Hoarder.  One lady moved in w/ her Mom and took over the house in less than a year buying fabric.  daily cialis results Her brother gave her a three month ultimatum and all she could say was “He’s not being sensitive to my needs.”  Meanwhile, ol’ Mom was unable to eat at her kitchen table.  I should be a hoarding psychologist, but instead of advice and counseling I would use verbal assault and a blowtorch.  If your life sucks that bad, hoard rope and exposed ceiling beams you waste of oxygen.

My Dad turns 60 soon – my Mom not quite as old.  I am terrible at showing human emotion, but if not for them, I would be a useless man.  Both grew up rather meagerly and yet endured and thrived despite this.  Neither made excuses or ever made me feel poor despite job changes and moving.  I got my Dad’s humor from observation and irony; my Mom gave me the appreciation of fart jokes and physical humor (see Three Stooges).  Thanks to both for supporting my comedy and me in general; love you both.  Now I feel like a douche.  Poop.  Now I feel better.  daily dose cialis Poop is funny.  Unless it’s on your carpet.

I did a show in Coldwater, MI last night and the headliner was a little late…90 mins late.  I was on stage for an hour and 15 mins. and literally ran out of material at 60 mins.  I ended up just telling some funny arrest stories until he showed up and realized that I am not a normal human being.  Who has 15 minutes worth of getting arrested stories?  I do.  After the show I went to the hotel and went to the arcade room at midnight b/c I was bored but it was shut down.  As I left, a group of 14 year old girls were sitting on the stairs.  As I passed, one said, “That guy scares me.”  It is good to know there are still solid parents teaching their daughters to stay away who makes cialis from guys like me that have a bevy of getting arrested life experiences.  Maybe there is still hope for America.  Not for me, but for America, just maybe.